Annoying Singaporean Pronunciations

Sometimes the Singaporean accent really annoys me because when you use it, you pronounce words completely wrongly. It's very, very unprofessional and it stinks. Especially when you're trying to act hospitable to a group of British tourists and the first thing you say is "You can go to Mac-Person!"

1. Accent

It's not pronounced as ac-sont, like the way we always do. It's ac-scent. Like, scent as in the substitute for aroma. Ac-scent. Not ac-sont.

2. Colleague

This one. I've not found many pronouncing this correct. Even principals, teachers, they all can't pronounce this correctly. What's with ker-lig?! It's not ker-lig. It's KOr-lig. Emphasis on the 'KO'. Never understood why it has evolved into 'ker' in the first place.

And don't pronounce it as ker-lig when you're delivering a speech. Very cringeworthy.

3. Salon

A hair salon is certainly not the same as a hair saloon. A salon is a place where you do get your hair fixed. A hair saloon is probably a car with a boot that is filled with lots of... hair.

There's 2 ways around the common ser-loon pronunciation; the Brits use 'sa-lorn', the Americans use 'ser-lorn'. Either way, it's correct, but certainly not a ser-loon. There's only 1 'o' there, and it's there for a reason.

My mum works at a hair salon, and I'll admit I've never ever pronounced it correctly. I will, from now, try to.

4. Hyundai

Here's one for those who love your K-pop. Okay, maybe not, but it is a Korean word. Most of us say hyun-dai, as it is spelled, but it's actually hyun-dae, a bit like Strawberry Sundae.

5. Audi

Oh gosh, another car brand, couldn't resist. Majority of Singaporeans will say aw-di, but it's actually aowww-di. Like, literally, you say it like you've been hit in the nuts. Like, "AOWWWWWWW-di".

6. McDonald's

Ask any teen on the streets and they'll say mac-door-nals. Or mac-door-nal. Nobody gets the 'd' out (no puns intended). It's mac-dor-nalds.

But hey, let's just stick to our common understanding of "macs" instead. Probably less error prone.

7. Premier League

Football fans are aplenty in Singapore, but ask many of them to pronounce the top tier of English football and they'll say pre-mier lig, just like how it's spelled.

Wrong. It's preair-mier lig. It's not the pre in pre-match or prepare, you have to add some air at the back (no puns intended. Again.). Preair-mier lig. Don't say pre-air-mier, of course. Put the pre and the air together.

8. Real Madrid

Another football related word, but something that I find perhaps forgiveable but every bit annoying. Surely if you're a fan of the Galacticos, you should be able to pronounce it the Spanish way? Too many say real mer-drid, and it pisses the hell out of Spanish people. And me. Sorta.

It's Spanish for 'royal', which means it's pronounced as ree-el mer-drid, with the ree and the el separated. El as in the way you pronounce El Clasico, or El Nino. The letter 'l' is pronounced 'el'. Yes, that 'el'. Don't friggin say real mer-drid because the next question will be whether or not there is a fake one.

9. Salmon

Ask anyone casually and they'll say sal-men. It's seh-men, like sehhhhhh. Sal-men sounds like a pokemon.

Oh, don't pronounce it wrongly or you may end up with a word that is very wrong and sounds like cement.

10. Deprove (it's not even a pronunciation issue)

I'm so done. Deprove isn't even a word. Don't ever think it's the opposite of improve! The next time I hear someone say 'deprove', I will hit you in the face and dump it repeatedly into a toilet bowl.

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Look, I think the Singaporean accent makes us very unique, and it gives us identity because regardless of race, language or religion, we all sound rather similar with this accent. But pronunciations sometimes go awry and quite far off what others pronounce. With Singapore wanting to become a more civilised society, surely we must ensure others can understand us, no?

Peace.

Song of the day:
Avicii - The Nights
(FIFA 15 song woots.)

Siong Hang

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