I'd probably just make fun of her every single day... for dating me. Because that's retarded and completely nonsensical.

I've never properly dated someone, as you'd probably have known by now. But hey, it's okay. Maybe it's just Fate telling Time to take longer and test my patience. Must say I've done pretty well holding out for 19 years and 4 months... and counting.

Today, though, let's imagine that I do have a girlfriend. I'd be a very jolly person, obviously.

I guess I'll treat her the best I can. I'm not the type to go on social media and declare to the entire world that I'm dating, because I'm not one for the "social media couple" rubbish. Occasionally, it's fine, I'll probably drop a dedication or two. But I'm not one for dropping sweet stuff publicly too often.

I'm all for writing cards and buying gifts, because I believe it's only right as a boyfriend to treat your girl just so that you can see that priceless smile on her face. I mean, which boy in the world won't want to see her smile, right? I love writing cards, even though I am very horrible at them because I often can't remember trivial things and tiny moments that she might. But I find cards so touching and personalised and sincere. Hopefully my 'girl' isn't money-faced or something and ask for Prada. Prata would cause less hesitation from me.

Of course finding out her interests is important. More often than not, my gf will probably have different interests from me, some not too far off and some extremely contrasting. I guess it'll be about being there for each other even when it means doing something against our will. Kind of like a... compromise. Just to show that you are willing to sacrifice for her. Even if she won't be willing to do the things I like, I'd still want to do the things she likes because it's just the way it is. If I'm not going to be there, who is?

I guess the key thing for me is giving the best I can give to that special one. By best I mean like, being there for her when she is down, happy, has something to tell you, and even when she's silent and not talking, you'd want to see how she's doing just so she's actually fine (because you can't tell with women when they're silent...).

But at the same time, I'm not a person to abandon my mates and cut all my other friendships and let my world revolve around 1 person. I love my friends; they've been there when I was bragging about not having a gf, so I think they should always be there when I eventually do. Friends are amazing. Even if it means juggling my time more often than not, I'd be willing. Far too often we've seen attached people detached from their social circles, seemingly becoming 'exclusive' and all that stuff. I hate that.

I'll laugh with her, I'll make fun of her. Heck, I might even throw some words at her. All in the name of banter. Because we should be comfortable with each other and calling her an 'idiot' shouldn't be an insult, but an endearment. It's just the way I am. I like to call the people I love 'idiots' and 'infantile'. It's just because it's natural and you both will have a mutual agreement that that was just teasing. I may record the stupid and blooper moments we have sometimes, and who knows, we could screen it at the wedding (OKAY WE'RE GETTING A BIT FAR NOW...).

Speaking of recording, collecting memories is very important to me. Capturing those magical moments in photo, in video, in text or in drawing, I always want to keep these memories and maybe that'll help with my card-making thingy...

I'm not going to be the best boyfriend in the world because, well frankly it's as daft as saying my dad is the 'Best Dad In The World' when I only have 1 Dad really. So let's end this cheesy by saying I'll be the best boyfriend I can be.

Aptly, here's the song of the day.

Avicii ft. Simon Aldred - Waiting For Love
(The progression...)

OH GOD WHAT HAVE I JUST WRITTEN? I'LL NEVER GET A GF AND NOW I'M WRITING IMAGINARY THINGS...