1. The Audition

Seriously, if you ever missed out on an opportunity to be a pole dancer back in school, you need not show in public. I mean, there is no need to lean on the pole in the centre of the train cabin! You're blocking the entire pole, nobody else can use it because you're like the leaning tower of Pisai (aha see what I did there).

And kids, do not ever dance around the poles. Your parents may or may not be impressed with your prospects...

2. The Spacing

There are 2 distinct types of humans that do not have any concept of space whatsoever.

First type are the ones who refuse to move in from the door and into the center of the cabin. Sir, there is much more space than what your fickle mind makes it out to be. And the even worse thing is, everyone else follows him and then you have a big space enough to put the whole American population in whilst everyone clutters at the door like the queue at Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights.

Then there's the 2nd type of people who think space... need not exist... at all. I've been backed into many times, wedged against the door by someone's backpack even if there is an ocean of space in front of him. There's being intimate and then there's being plain redundant and absolutely weird.

3. The Swipers

People just swipe and swipe and swipe on the MRT nowdays... on their phones, of course.

I'm probably guilty of this too. Swiping has somehow become an excuse for just about everything else; you become completely oblivion and shut out from the surroundings. So much so that sometimes you just board the wrong train (I've done that a few times) and then you end up being late... for your first date... who was already early... by 30 minutes... Okay you get the point.

4. The Snorlax

These people can sleep just about anywhere, even if it means having to stand. I've slept standing before; it's fun because sometimes you stumble a tat and then you wake up feeling adrenaline rushing... and then you fall back asleep after 10 seconds.

Heck, I've even seen people sleep just holding onto the handles and not even leaning on anything.

5. The Invaders

There are sleepers, and then people who make themselves a little bit too comfortable on the train. I've recently seen a slight surge in people who actually sit on the MRT cabin floors. The first time was a pair of kids playing some sort of Nitendos whilst sitting down on the floor, occupying what would otherwise have been space for 6 standing adults.

The second time, though, kind of made me realise that the first encounter was barely anything. I saw an uncle, in his 60s I presume, sleeping flat on the MRT floor. He was probably just short of bringing his Queen-sized bed on board, really.

6. The loudspeakers

Some people tend to talk so loud on normal occasions, but somehow this gets amplified in the confined spaces of an MRT cabin. All types of people are guilty of talking so loud that even the deepest of sleepers get awakened on the MRT (not necessarily a bad thing since these people could give up their seats to others who need it more anyway). People on the phone, talking to friends or even talking to themselves.

7. The blasters

Okay, we get it. You are listening to the hottest song of the moment, and you want everyone to know you are an up-to-date kinda person. Or maybe you are hipster in your music selections, and you want people to know that.

There's also a reason why you'll get deaf soon, too. My dears, please stop playing your music so loudly. It's not good for yourself, it's unpleasant for everyone else who may not enjoy your music taste, and it makes people look at you. So everything you do will be seen because everyone can hear you.

Less noise, better blending-in, better ear health. Tada. Simple.

8. The Stompers

Need I explain more about these special breed of human beings? They're driven by their desire to get $50 KFC vouchers (is it even still $50 KFC vouchers nowadays? I don't even care), they want headlines (read by an audience of the same breed of human beings), and they want attention (again, from the same people). Everything from wearing a shirt with "FCUK" (which is a legitimate brand...) to sleeping on someone else's shoulder accidentally.

Stomp needs to close down.

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Song of the day:

Ellie Goulding - On My Mind

And now I don't understand it
You don't mess with love you mess with the truth
And I know I shouldn't say it
But my heart don't understand
Why I got you on my mind