...to doing nothing.

Aha, almost caught some of you there, didn't I? I'M SUCH A BAIT AND A SELLOUT HAHAHA.

Okay, A for effort.

Anyway, lately, I've realised that I may have too much free time. And I'm not just talking about having time to merely enjoy a meal and take a long shower. I'm talking about being able to enjoy a meal, take a long shower, contemplate about life, watch YouTube, spend 4.5 hours baking macarons and then contemplate about life again when sitting in front of the oven.

And I... I like it.

More often than not, for the past few years of our life, we have been busy doing something. You get thrown into a kindergarten at 5, and you are busy playing toys, learning how to spell and taking afternoon naps. At 7, you transit to a primary school and become occupied trying to figure out how to actually make friends, learn more complex math and realise you are actually growing - yes, puberty is making a grand arrival. You're 13, and you finally learn to contemplate whether you should ask a girl out, be taught subjects you have no interest in, and do wacky things. In your 17th year of living, you are enrolled into a JC (or Poly/ITE, whatever, I can't speak for them) and you are forced to listen to lectures, you attempt to get into a relationship and in general, you just struggle and dribble at the thought of having to balance your social circle, study schedule and money issues.

So for the past 15 years of my life (well, that's as far as most people recollect anyway), I have been busy. As a matter of fact, most of us would and should have been.

Initially, when I realised that I may not have as many things to do as in the past because of the amount of time serving the nation has given me, it was odd. It felt different, almost empty, because you are used to being so preoccupied. It's almost as if a voice inside of me is telling me to teach myself something, to learn a language or read a book to satisfy its cravings.

After a while though, you just don't care.

And you freakin' enjoy whatever time you have been given. You do your favourite things, like doodling, playing FIFA, watching YouTube and texting your friends. I love this lifestyle of going home from camp, reaching my crib at 6 and then not having to worry about submitting an assignment the next dreadful morning.

I'm just fearful I will get too attached to this.

You see, university is coming. I'll probably have to undo these 2 years and switch back to that mugger I was 2 years ago.

This is not the kind of attachment I was looking for. Or, as the internet always says, "I did not sign up for this shit."

Song of the day:
One Direction - More Than This
(I actually really like this song... 3 years after its release. Yes, I'm lagging behind again.)